When Co-Parenting Messages Make You Doubt Yourself

In this episode, I talk about a communication pattern that so many people experience in emotionally abusive and high-conflict relationships—but rarely have language for.

It’s the moment when a message sounds reasonable on paper, calm in tone, even “child-focused”… and yet your body reacts immediately.

I walk through what’s happening when someone says all the right things while doing the opposite—hiding control behind concern, and contradiction behind “cooperation.” I use a real client example from co-parenting to show how this plays out in everyday emails about clothing, schedules, school, and parenting decisions—and how quickly it turns into self-doubt, over-explaining, and emotional exhaustion.

In this episode, I share:

• Why these interactions feel so destabilizing even when they look calm
• How contradictory communication pulls you into constant self-defense
• What to look for when words and actions don’t line up
• Why this isn’t a communication problem—and why you’re not overreacting
• How to begin tracking patterns so you can stop gaslighting yourself

If you’ve ever read a message and thought, “Why do I feel like I’m losing my footing right now?” this episode is for you.

This episode is a re-record of the Double Speak episode because I did not know there was noise in the background!