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You Are Not Crazy
You’re exhausted from over-functioning. Always managing the chaos. Always trying to keep the peace.
You feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one sees the full story—except you.
You question yourself constantly. You wonder if you’re the problem.
You’re not.
This podcast helps you understand emotional abuse, coercive control, narcissistic relationships, and trauma bonds—so you can stop doubting yourself and start trusting what you already know.
I’m Jessica Knight, emotional abuse coach and survivor. I help people make sense of confusing, destabilizing relationship dynamics—including gaslighting, manipulation, intermittent reinforcement, and post-separation abuse.
Here, you’ll learn to recognize the patterns of narcissistic abuse, understand the psychology of trauma bonding, and rebuild your sense of clarity, stability, and self-trust.
This podcast is especially for you if you are:
• Leaving or recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship
• Navigating divorce or post-separation coercive control
• Trying to co-parent with a high-conflict or manipulative partner
• Questioning your reality after gaslighting
• Rebuilding yourself after psychological abuse
You are not crazy. Your nervous system adapted to survive something real.
This is your space to understand what happened, reclaim your truth, and heal—on your terms.
🖤 Learn more and find resources at www.emotionalabusecoach.com
Episodes
249 episodes
BPD Splitting in Relationships: What It Feels Like and How to Heal
If you've ever felt adored one moment and suddenly on the wrong side of a wall you didn't see coming, this episode is for you.I open with my own experience of being in a relationship where warmth could vanish in an instant — where I repl...
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Why They Never See It: The Psychology Behind Why Personality-Disordered People Don't Know They're the Problem
If you've ever wondered why the person who hurt you seems completely unbothered — even convinced they did nothing wrong — this episode is for you.I break down why people with personality disorders genuinely don't experience themselves as...
Pattern Recognition vs. The Blame Game
There's a difference between someone naming a pattern to seek resolution and someone digging up the past to dodge accountability. If you've ever tried to address what's not working in your relationship and ended up defending yourself instead, t...
When Mental Illness Becomes an Excuse for Abuse
This month’s Patreon episode dives into a theme that kept surfacing in your questions: When does mental illness explain behavior… and when does it become an excuse?Before answering your submissions, I break down what we actually m...
How I Help Clients Untangle High-Conflict Divorce
In this episode, I share what it’s really like to support clients through the chaos of high-conflict divorce — when legal processes, endless emails, and contradictory communication make it nearly impossible to think clearly. I talk about how I ...
“No One Sees It” — The Pattern of Covert Abuse (And Why the System Misses It)
“No one sees it. They just think he’s nice.”If you are in a high-conflict divorce or co-parenting dynamic, you probably feel this in your bones.One of the hardest parts of covert abuse is that the “nice” isn’t safe. The "helpfulne...
Wanting Them to Change Isn’t Abuse - Interview with Paul Colaianni
One of the most painful and confusing questions survivors ask is this:“If I want them to change… how is that different from them wanting me to change?”On the surface, it sounds the same. Two people. Both asking for change. But it ...
“Why Do I Feel Crazy?” — Life Inside a Trauma Bond
This episode puts words to what a trauma bond feels like before there is language for it. The quiet erosion. The logic loops. The way your needs slowly become “too much.” The way calm, rational explanations are used to invalidate your ...
When Leaving Feels Impossible: The Hidden Reality of Loving Someone With Untreated BPD
Leaving a relationship with someone who has untreated borderline personality traits can feel less like a breakup and more like trying to escape a locked room while being told you’re the one causing the fire.In this episode, I speak direc...
Why They Feel Fine After the Blowup—and You Don’t
In this episode, I talk about what happens after the fight, the discard, or the emotional explosion, and why the aftermath hits you so much harder than it seems to hit them.I break down a pattern I see constantly in emotionally ...
Emotional Whiplash, Hypervigilance, and the BPD Cycle of Abuse
How do you survive—and eventually recognize—the BPD cycle of abuse, especially when you are already exhausted, confused, and questioning yourself.In this episode, I break down the cycle as it actually unfolds in real life: The int...
When They Say You Can’t Communicate
If you’ve ever been told you “can’t communicate” — especially by someone who constantly twists your words or refuses to take accountability — this episode will help you see what’s really happening. I break breaks down how abusers weaponize comm...
Letting Go of the Why
When you’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship, the need for clarity can feel all-consuming. You want to know why they did what they did — why they lied, withdrew, or turned cold. You believe that if you can just understand th...
The Blame Game: A Key Tactic in the Cycle of Emotional Abuse
This episode unpacks what happens when speaking your truth gets twisted into a blame game. You finally name the pattern—gaslighting, neglect, constant eggshells—only to have the conversation hijacked. Suddenly you’re defending a mistake from ye...
When Co-Parenting Messages Make You Doubt Yourself
In this episode, I talk about a communication pattern that so many people experience in emotionally abusive and high-conflict relationships—but rarely have language for.It’s the moment when a message sounds reasonable on paper, calm in t...
How Do I Stop Second Guessing Myself After Leaving an Abusive Relationship?
After leaving an abusive relationship, it’s common to find yourself stuck in an exhausting loop of self-doubt. You replay conversations. You question your memory. You wonder if you overreacted—or if maybe it wasn’t that bad.In this episo...
The Holiday Breakdown: Why High-Conflict Co-Parenting Becomes Unbearable
This episode is about why everything feels harder, louder, and more urgent during the holidays when you’re navigating high-conflict divorce or co-parenting with a controlling or volatile person. Why situations that felt barely manageable in Oct...
When “How to Treat a Man” Teaches Women to Disappear
I unpack a viral TikTok that has been shared hundreds of thousands of times—and why its message is far more dangerous than it first appears.On the surface, the video presents itself as “relationship advice” about how women can keep men h...
Instead of Resolutions, I Do This
In this episode, I’m sharing a simple end-of-year practice I’ve returned to every year since 2017—one that has nothing to do with resolutions, goals, or fixing yourself.It started in a yoga class on New Year’s Eve, during a time when my ...
Dreading the New Year Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing
This episode is not about fresh starts, resolutions, or manifesting a better year.It’s for the people who feel heavy, uneasy, or scared as the year changes.I’m sharing honestly about what the end of the year felt like for me when ...
The Holidays, the Cycle of Abuse, and the Moment You Finally See It
The holiday season has a way of revealing what we’ve been trying to ignore. When the pressure to perform, host, or appear “happy” collides with the chaos of an emotionally abusive relationship, everything that’s been buried rises to the surface...
Why the Holidays Feel Heavy (Even When You’ve Left)
This episode explores what happens when the holidays don’t feel magical—when they instead trigger memories of tension, performance, and survival. I reflect on how November and December can awaken body memories of chaos, control, and grief, even...
Double Speak: When Coercive Control Hides Behind "Concern"
In this episode, I talk about one of the most confusing and insidious forms of manipulation survivors face in high-conflict relationships and co-parenting: Double Speak.It’s that moment when control hides behind concern — when a...
“You’re the Only One Who Has a Problem With Me”
In today’s episode, we’re unpacking a phrase almost every survivor has heard at some point: “You’re the only one who has a problem with me.”It’s one of the most subtle yet powerful forms of emotional manipulation — the kind that...
When Everything Feels Like a Misunderstanding
Abusers often hide behind confusion — denying intent, twisting reality, and framing your hurt as an overreaction. What starts as a simple disagreement turns into you questioning your memory, your emotions, and your sanity. I share h...